sure most of the people who will read this are familiar with the total sleep
deprivation that comes with being a parent. Before having kids I never realized
it was possible to be so tired it hurts. Can you die from sleep deprivation? I’m
not sure, but I do know you can hallucinate. Here is what a typical night in
the Denton house looks like.
the kids off to bed. Bedtime is one of the only times my boys willingly put on
clothes. They have jammies in all different kinds of super heroes, cute right?
Of course! Once they are in their jammies you have two tiny ninja wannabe’s
bouncing racecar bed to racecar bed shouting things like “boom shakalaka” or if
Beau is screaming it “Boom mothafocka”. Eventually though they do settle down. With the boys in their room and Tillie in her
crib we have peace for a little while. That’s when we break out the candy
stash, dig into the good ice cream and watch television for adults. I never
appreciated free time like I should have before children. This is bliss.
into bed and sleep for like an hour. Then Tillie is up and needs a bottle. I
run around mixing water and formula and because she is a slow eater she ends up
in our bed. Maybe an hour later Beau gets up and starts cruising the house, he
eventually shows up next to my side of the bed whispering loudly over and over
again “mommy, mommy, mom, mommy”. I play dead. He keeps whispering, now poking
me in the face. I look over at him and loudly whisper “daddy is on the other
side, go to the other side.” He just looks at me. “daddy has candy.” He darts
over to the other side of the bed to harass his other parent. Nic picks up Beau
and a few minutes later he’s asleep on his chest. Next Conner will come in
looking for Beau, he’s afraid without him. I prod Nic in the ribs so he wakes
up and carries sleeping Beau back to his bed. I put Tillie back in her crib. We
sleep another hour or two and Beau is back. I’m too tired to deal with it, I
scoop him up and toss him in between me and Nic . He is all over the place his
elbow is in my ribs, his feet are in Nic’s face, I’m pretty sure his body temperature
is a million degrees, and damn can that kid drool. Conner has a nightmare and
comes in crying saying “mom, I was a stick, A STICK! It was terrible.” He camps
out on the floor next to our bed and then there’s peace for a few hours. Until Nic’s
alarm goes off and I wake up holding Tillie and pressing a bottle of formula
into the front of my neck. She must have cried but I don’t remember getting her
or making a bottle and I’m soaked in formula.
spit up, and Beau drool and start making a pot of coffee.