Believe it or not sometimes my children aren’t the most embarrassing
people in my life, I do pretty good on my own too. What can I say, when you take
high levels of gullibility and add sleep deprivation to a person who is
generally not the quickest on the uptake you would have, moi. To put it plainly,
if you want to get ahead in a pyramid scheme and need people to fill your lower
brackets, invite me to your party! I’ll even bring dip.
people in my life, I do pretty good on my own too. What can I say, when you take
high levels of gullibility and add sleep deprivation to a person who is
generally not the quickest on the uptake you would have, moi. To put it plainly,
if you want to get ahead in a pyramid scheme and need people to fill your lower
brackets, invite me to your party! I’ll even bring dip.
Anyway, here’s a story that begins mildly embarrassing and
ends deeply humiliating, enjoy.
ends deeply humiliating, enjoy.
When I was pregnant with Tilly I went through some god awful
morning sickness and the only think I could choke down was mall sushi. For some
reason when everything else smelled like poo to my sensitive nose, mall
prepared cheap-o sushi was da-BOMB! I would walk through the mall every time I
had class and spent a small of fortune somewhere in the neighborhood of maybe
$50 that semester, all of it to feed that craving. The place I usually went did
not have soy sauce packets instead they put the stuff in little jello shot
containers. Convenient for dipping, but they did not hold together well in a
book bag.
morning sickness and the only think I could choke down was mall sushi. For some
reason when everything else smelled like poo to my sensitive nose, mall
prepared cheap-o sushi was da-BOMB! I would walk through the mall every time I
had class and spent a small of fortune somewhere in the neighborhood of maybe
$50 that semester, all of it to feed that craving. The place I usually went did
not have soy sauce packets instead they put the stuff in little jello shot
containers. Convenient for dipping, but they did not hold together well in a
book bag.
One day I packed one into the side pocket of my school bag
and walked across the street to class . Not surprisingly it came open and
leaked out the mesh pocket, dripping through the lobby, the elevator, down the
hall, and all the way to class. Of course I didn’t notice. I remember thinking “gee,
it smells good in here… kinda like soy sauce” then I took out my snack, reached
for my sauce, and realized what had happened. Only like 10 minutes after
everyone else in the class. I was slightly embarrassed but, hey no big right? I
decided I couldn’t eat sushi without sauce, no way. No sauce might induce
random preggo vomiting and that would be a little awkward.
and walked across the street to class . Not surprisingly it came open and
leaked out the mesh pocket, dripping through the lobby, the elevator, down the
hall, and all the way to class. Of course I didn’t notice. I remember thinking “gee,
it smells good in here… kinda like soy sauce” then I took out my snack, reached
for my sauce, and realized what had happened. Only like 10 minutes after
everyone else in the class. I was slightly embarrassed but, hey no big right? I
decided I couldn’t eat sushi without sauce, no way. No sauce might induce
random preggo vomiting and that would be a little awkward.
I decided to race out the building and across the street and
grab some sauce from a nearby Chinese food restaurant. I thundered panting through
the door and noticed an Asian woman, she was the only person in the restaurant.
So of course I ran up and asked “Can I have some of your soy sauce?!” She
looked a little confused and replied “I don’t work here.”
grab some sauce from a nearby Chinese food restaurant. I thundered panting through
the door and noticed an Asian woman, she was the only person in the restaurant.
So of course I ran up and asked “Can I have some of your soy sauce?!” She
looked a little confused and replied “I don’t work here.”
Oh hey, maybe that was why she was seated at a TABLE holding a MENU! Maybe
every Asian person in a Chinese restaurant does NOT work there. Maybe the
ground could have swallowed me so I could disappear and accidentally racially insult
a group of tunnel dwelling gnomes!!! Uh no, that didn’t happen, I waited for
the hostess to come out took my soy sauce and hauled ass out of there.
every Asian person in a Chinese restaurant does NOT work there. Maybe the
ground could have swallowed me so I could disappear and accidentally racially insult
a group of tunnel dwelling gnomes!!! Uh no, that didn’t happen, I waited for
the hostess to come out took my soy sauce and hauled ass out of there.
That is the end
I have the most awkward endings to stories, I’m sorry but if
you’re looking for some sort of moral behind the tale I got nuthin! Well maybe
this, I can be an idiot and it is very often incredibly embarrassing for
myself.
you’re looking for some sort of moral behind the tale I got nuthin! Well maybe
this, I can be an idiot and it is very often incredibly embarrassing for
myself.
Hahaha! I do believe the moral of the story is, "Stay the heck away from ethnic restaurants unless you are going through the drive-thru." 🙂