Just in case anyone was wondering, I survived flying alone with the three kiddos. They also survived, thanks to a buttload of dum-dums and other forms of bribery. Just so we’re clear, it wasn’t awesome. As Conner would say, I didn’t love it.
Traveling with children always sucks, though. Even when you’re not alone, even if you don’t have a layover in the busiest airport in the US, even if your one year old doesn’t have an ear infection. Any time you have to keep children occupied in seats they can’t leave for hours, your life is going to be a nightmare.Seriously, at one point as I sat hunched in the stupidly small plane seat, clutching Tillie who wasn’t so much crying as growling like a rabid raccoon. I thought to myself, this must be what hell is like, only in hell you’re stuck on the plane for eternity and they’re probably out of complimentary pretzels, and maybe you’re not even holding a baby it’s a REAL RACCOON…
I would like to send a shout out to the random stranger who let Beau play Angry Birds on their iPad for an hour. Letting someone else’s kid touch your electronic’s is courageous, but you didn’t even have a case on that thing… girl, you crazay!!
I would also like to send an apology to the dude who shared a narrow two seat row with Beau. You were so quietly enjoying a book on your Kindle, I’m sure it was a shock to be suddenly tickled by your two year old row mate. Thanks for taking it lightly, although really, when a small child suddenly yells “TEEECKLE TEEECKLE” and plunges his tiny fingers into your sensitive armpits without warning, how else do you take it? Your panicked eyes said “I need an adult!” yet your calm, cool, response said “Oh crap, I am the adult!” and I appreciate that.
I don’t understand how no one has found a way to ship children yet. Hey Fedex, I think there’s a market you haven’t cornered.