It’s been one of those weeks, the kind you need a sense of humor to make it through.
Conner brought us the flu Friday night and it has been a whirlwind week of vomit, diarrhea, and snot. I have cleaned discharge out of the carpet of every room of the apartment. I’ve caught puke in my hands. I haven’t slept. I’ve been living mostly off girl scout cookies and oatmeal cream pies because I don’t have the energy to cook. I smell. I’m really, reeeaaallly glad I got a flu shot last week, I’m also glad we’re moving out of this stanky cave soon.
This morning at Target I ran over my own foot with a three seater shopping cart and the only thing holding my toenail together is last weekend’s pedicure. I cried a little, because I’m a wimp, and assured the check out lady that no, I was not crying because this is the BAJILLIONTH time she has asked if I want a Red Card (and yes I want one, of course I want one!! I’m forgetful and I don’t carry checks and for the love of RICE stop asking me!!)
To top it all off the round brown things I found on the carpet this afternoon weren’t cocoa puffs, it was actually someone’s POOP (BEAU AARON!!) and I touched it, WITH MY FINGER!!!! There’s a small possibility Tillie ate some, I have no way of knowing, because holy crap it could be an infinite number of poopoo puffs that escaped his diaper!! Why are children so disgusting?!!
So it would seem I’m barely hanging on to sanity, but really this is every day, and let’s be honest sanity is gone. This isn’t so much out of the ordinary as it is just being mom. My morning vitamin is Tylenol because it’s good for the aches and pains that have settled into my bones. Before I even get to that vitamin I lay in bed and wish I didn’t have to get up, maybe I could sleep for ever. Sometimes I tell myself that I just can’t do this anymore, it’s too hard, I’m too tired, and this is not getting any easier. Then I suck it up. Because I don’t know how to quit, actually I don’t even think that’s an option. I pull on my big girl panties and face the days that just keep coming because, despite how hard it is now it looks like people actually survive this.
Being a mom is hard. Being a parent is hard (OK it’s also hilarious, especially the part about poop). When other parents tell me how many kids they have I mentally finish the sentence with “and lived to tell the tale”. Because parenting is about the most bad ass thing you will ever do and survive to talk about.